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Literature Text
JOHNNY:
I've travelled 'round the LEGO-verse, across all Dimensions,
I've had sunstroke in the Tundra and a swim in Atlantis,
I've seen monsters down in Knightdom and a pink Unikitty,
And I've danced with ten foot Beavers in the Lion Temple hall,
I've met a powerless Elf and the working Corporate Fembot -
But I've never met a nice Troublesome Truck!
TRUCKS:
No he's never met a nice Troublesome Truck,
And that's not really surprising man!
'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant freighters,
Who hate peace-keeping!
JOHNNY:
I once got served in CowTown after touring 'round the Range,
I had lunch with Captain Mainwaring when he paid and wasn't late,
I know a furry swimming bath where they don't shed in the pool,
I know three girls who were witches straight after leaving school,
I've met a Police Bunny, and the very modest Queen Croc -
But I've never met a nice Troublesome Truck!
TRUCKS:
No he's never met a nice Troublesome Truck,
And that's not really surprising man!
'Cause we're a bunch of talentless wackos,
Who smell like coal-pits.
JOHNNY:
I've had a close encounter of the prehistoric kind,
That's when a bunch of dinos came out of a spaceship,
I got directions of the sewers from a humble giant rat,
I've even heard a decent song from Sonic Underground,
I've seen a Sontaran, in a butler's uniform,
But I've never met a nice Troublesome Truck!
TRUCKS:
No he's never met a nice Troublesome Truck,
And that's not really surprising man!
'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths,
With poor sense of humour.
JOHNNY:
I've met an old hill-doctor and she looks like Corporal Jones,
At the manor of Jed Clampett she's the chief of housekeeping
I know a place in Nutwood which is bright with daffodillies,
I met three mice from planet Mars who like to do free-wheelies,
I've caught a fox with Strudle, but I've never lost me noodle -
And I've never met a nice Troublesome Truck.
TRUCKS:
No he's never met a nice Troublesome Truck,
And that's not really surprising man,
Because we've never met one either!
MIDDLE TRUCK: (Talking)
Except for Colette the coal hopper, and she emigrated from Paris.
TRUCKS:
Yes she's quite a nice and kindful Truck,
And she's hardly ever bumped anyone,
And she's not smelly at all.
That's why she's in a museum!
I've travelled 'round the LEGO-verse, across all Dimensions,
I've had sunstroke in the Tundra and a swim in Atlantis,
I've seen monsters down in Knightdom and a pink Unikitty,
And I've danced with ten foot Beavers in the Lion Temple hall,
I've met a powerless Elf and the working Corporate Fembot -
But I've never met a nice Troublesome Truck!
TRUCKS:
No he's never met a nice Troublesome Truck,
And that's not really surprising man!
'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant freighters,
Who hate peace-keeping!
JOHNNY:
I once got served in CowTown after touring 'round the Range,
I had lunch with Captain Mainwaring when he paid and wasn't late,
I know a furry swimming bath where they don't shed in the pool,
I know three girls who were witches straight after leaving school,
I've met a Police Bunny, and the very modest Queen Croc -
But I've never met a nice Troublesome Truck!
TRUCKS:
No he's never met a nice Troublesome Truck,
And that's not really surprising man!
'Cause we're a bunch of talentless wackos,
Who smell like coal-pits.
JOHNNY:
I've had a close encounter of the prehistoric kind,
That's when a bunch of dinos came out of a spaceship,
I got directions of the sewers from a humble giant rat,
I've even heard a decent song from Sonic Underground,
I've seen a Sontaran, in a butler's uniform,
But I've never met a nice Troublesome Truck!
TRUCKS:
No he's never met a nice Troublesome Truck,
And that's not really surprising man!
'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths,
With poor sense of humour.
JOHNNY:
I've met an old hill-doctor and she looks like Corporal Jones,
At the manor of Jed Clampett she's the chief of housekeeping
I know a place in Nutwood which is bright with daffodillies,
I met three mice from planet Mars who like to do free-wheelies,
I've caught a fox with Strudle, but I've never lost me noodle -
And I've never met a nice Troublesome Truck.
TRUCKS:
No he's never met a nice Troublesome Truck,
And that's not really surprising man,
Because we've never met one either!
MIDDLE TRUCK: (Talking)
Except for Colette the coal hopper, and she emigrated from Paris.
TRUCKS:
Yes she's quite a nice and kindful Truck,
And she's hardly ever bumped anyone,
And she's not smelly at all.
That's why she's in a museum!
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I've been watching some nostalgic comedy lately, so this one stuck to me, based on the Spitting Image song "Never Met a Nice South African"; www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxEweP… (0:28 - 2:49), but aimed more towards the Trucks of Sodor, who almost matched the stereotype descriptions in the chorus of the original song. from the most experienced adventurer of all time, Johnny Thunder.
BTW, can anybody guess how many references to other shows and movies Johnny was talking about?
Johnny Thunder ©
Troublesome Trucks © HiT Entertainment
Colette ©
BTW, can anybody guess how many references to other shows and movies Johnny was talking about?
Johnny Thunder ©
Troublesome Trucks © HiT Entertainment
Colette ©
© 2017 - 2024 CCB-18
Comments7
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Oh, I’m glad Colette gets more attention and I’m finally given credit, thanks, my friend, and I’m glad you read our* fanfiction (*written for me by my grandfather) “Thomas On Tour” It’s such fantastic story, Really blends in the Awdry/Allcroft & Mitton style 