The Million-Hare (TMNT Style)

The story opens on a panoramic view of a typical English-type countryside, till it reaches late-Edwardian style American country house (like those seen in Lady & the Tramp) but with several additions on it such as a large garage, a loft-top observatory and a stunning-looking TV aerial.
Zooming in on the front gate, we see on the mailbox that it’s the residence of "Mr C. Bowditch, FdSc, Esq." and the LKHFF logo is printed on the front panel.
We then see Charles walking into the gate hand-in-hand with the young ninja turtle, Venus De Milo. She was wearing a marine-blue lady’s duffle coat with white cords and dark brown pegs and is holding a popcorn bag in her free hand whilst Charles has hold of a balloon on a stick in his.
Walking up the path to the door, they hear grunting and war-whoops and espy Raphael in the garden, kicking and punching some wooden poles, rocking-dummies and trees, obviously in training.
Upon entering the house, the two saw Donatello struggling with the adjoining door to Charles’ laboratory and workshop from the hallway.
Charles just tuts and shakes his shakes his head in a half-hearted way as he removes his boater, scarf and blazer. He had caught Donny in there a few times already and was afraid that the young turtle was going to cause an accident with either one of his machines or his potions. So as a precaution, Charles had put a special kind of lock on that door. It was a lock that Palladon had given him a while back, and only Charles alone had the key.
As Charles helped Venus off with her coat, Leonardo walked up to them with a bedding roll under his arm and some tee candles in a small string bag.
“Hello, you two, how was the zoo?” he asked. Behind him, Donny was now standing on the doorframe, trying to pull the lock off and showing the strain on his face and he vainly tried everything he could think of and muster.
“Oh it was wonderful!” smiled Venus, holding up her popcorn bag. “I had 15 bags of popcorn”
Leo smiles and then a look of concern crosses his face. “You didn’t take her to the Central Park Zoo?” he asked Charles. “The penguins there are psychotic, the lemurs are a bad influence, the kangaroo’s barmy, the koala’s petrified of everything and don’t get me started on the gorillas and monkeys there”
“Don’t worry Leonardo,” said Charles. “We didn’t go there. Besides, I only go there after dark. I don’t like the female ranger’s attitude very much. She doesn’t seem to care a jot for anyone or anything. No, no, we went to the local zoo on the east side”
“Well, did anybody bother you?” Leo asked. He didn’t like the idea of his brothers and, especially, his sister being out in broad daylight. He was sure Master Splinter would feel the same, but Venus always felt safe with Charles around. “Only few kids,” she said. “They though we were zoo mascots in fancy costumes, so we put on a little performance for them”
“Made £20 in loose-change” smiled Charles. “Well, by the looks of things Raph and Donny have been busy.”
“Oh yes, and I’m off to do some meditating” said Leo.
“Then I suggest you go into the back garden,” said Charles as he hung up the coats and then looked around. “Raph’s in the front garden training and I’m sure you don’t want to be disturbed by his noises. By the way,” he added looking around, “where’s Michelangelo?”
“Over there,” said Leonardo, pointing towards the lounge. “He’s not moved since you left”
“But that was just after breakfast” gasped Venus, hurrying over closely followed by Charles. The two looked in and saw the second-youngest turtle sitting on a footstool, rather uncomfortably close to the television screen with his eyes in the squinting mode. Charles decided to approach Mikey with a suggestion.
“Hey Mikey, how about taking a hike down to er…?” he began.
“SHH!” hissed Mikey, interrupting Charles.
“But Mikey…” Charles said.
“SHHH!!” hissed Mikey again, this time more annoyed, flapping his hands at them in a bid to quieten the interruptions. This completely baffled Charles. “What gives?” he asked the young freckled turtle. “I write to Master Splinter, inviting the five of you kids down here to Little Azeroth for a vacation and a chance to get out of the smelly sewers and those dangerous, dirty and crowded streets of the Big Apple. Venus is easy to please, Leonardo spends his time meditating, I can’t keep Donatello out of my workshops, Raphael just wants to train and/or fight (so I don’t know which of those two is proving more of a handful), and all you want to do is watch TV.”
“Which is, like, extremely difficult,” Michelangelo pointed out, giving Charles a rather dark glare, “When some dude is, like, constantly butting in!”
“He’s just trying to be helpful. He’s showing us a world we never see back home” pleaded Venus, but Mikey wouldn’t budge.
Charles decided to surrender to Mikey’s attitude. “Oh well,” he said to Venus, “if you can’t lick ’em, you might as well join ’em” he said casually as he brought Venus a pouffe to sit on, before fetching his armchair, to join Mikey in watching TV – which was a good idea for the two, having been on their feet practically all day.
“And now folks,” said the jolly show-host on the screen. “The show with a million laughs! Beat Your Buddy! A contest for friends!”
“Oooh, this is my very favourite show!” said Mikey excitedly. “I never miss this one!”
“He never misses any of them(!)” whispered Venus to Charles behind her hand, and then much louder, “Hey, guys! Beat You Buddy’s on!”
Leo had just unfurled the bedding roll when Venus calling, so he joined the others in the lounge and sat on his knees next to Mikey.
At the same time there came a loud thump from the hallway, which indicated that Donny had stopped what he was doing, upon hearing Venus, and had promptly fallen off the wall. And judging by his “Aw nuts”, he still hadn’t got the lock open through either cunning to crack Charles’ code or even brute force. He came into the lounge and plonked himself right onto the arm of Charles’ chair.
Raphael had just knocked down a dummy adversary when Venus called out and, satisfied with his work, came in to join them. He just leant in the doorway with his arms folded and a smirk on his face.
So now everyone was watching the show.
“Now remember the rules;” continued the host, indicating the small keg next to him on the desk, “we draw two names from our Buddy Barrel. The two persons named will then race to our studio. The first buddy here will win the million bucks!”
“Last week,” said Mikey gleefully, “two sweet little old ladies from Pasadena almost killed each other trying to win the prize!”
“That’s funny?” said Charles in disbelief. “I find You’ve Been Framed funnier then that”
Raphael gave a sniggering snort, “Yeah right. A bunch people filming silly stunts, pet tricks, car accidents and family mishaps, just so they can win a couple of bucks? That wouldn’t even cover the hospital bill some of them may get(!)”
“£250 is not anything to sneer at” Charles pointed out as he filled his pipe with bubble mixture.
“Well that’s just chicken scratch, compared to this show” Raph objected. “Besides, they keep rerunning old clips over and over again on that show. You can clearly tell by the dates on some of them. And most of them come the states these days, anyway.”
Charles didn’t respond to that but, by throwing a chair cushion at Raph, Mikey did. “Would you two, like, can it?” he said bitterly, “The dude’s about to announce the competitors”
“And now the magic moment!” said the host, reaching in the barrel, “The two buddies in tonight’s fun race are…” he suddenly paused, for as he took out two cards out of the barrel, three more fell out. The host picked them and looked at them carefully before turning back to the viewers. “Folks, it seems we have a special 5-person-buddy race tonight and either somebody’s pulling my leg or there are people in this day and age with the name of Renaissance artists, but here we go. The five buddies named are…LEONARDO! RAPHAEL! DONATELLO! MICHAELANGELO! And VENUS DE MILO!”  
Four mouths dropped open and eight eyes almost fell out of their owner’s heads and through their masks as their names were mentioned. Charles then promptly stood up and started to congratulate the turtles.
“How about that?” he said, “Tonight you’re the buddies!”
“Aren’t they those five golden retriever puppies who do Disney movies?” Venus asked innocently.
“Yes that’s true,” Charles agreed, putting his pipe on the armchair’s arm-stand. “But this is totally different all together. Tonight it’s the five of you guys out to win the money,” he then started to look around, “Hey, buddies, where’d you go?” For the other four were not there anymore. At the final mention of Venus’ name, it was all WHOOSH!! WHOOSH!! WHOOSH!! WHOOSH!!, followed by bangs of the front door and clatters from the windows, and as Charles looked out from a window, whose shutters were flapping in the tailwind, he could make out four distant figures running, leaping and bounding over fences, road and hedges and through treetops and fields, each in a bid to get there first. “Wow!” said Charles impressively, “Whoever said turtles were slow creatures nowadays?” as he closed the shutters and turned around, he was surprised to find that Venus hadn’t left. On the contrary, she was still seated on her pouffe and looking rather upset.
“What’s the matter dear?” asked Charles politely. “Aren’t you going to try and race your brothers?”
“What’s the point?” said Venus sadly as Charles sat alongside her and put an arm around her shell, “They’re all bigger, faster and stronger than me and will probably get to the studios first. I don’t stand a chance. I’ll never be as good as them, no matter how hard I’d try.” Tears started forming in her eyes as she said that.
Now Charles didn’t like to see a child upset, and would’ve done anything possible to help that child. And sure enough, an idea came into his brain. “Don’t worry, my dear” he said brightly as he handed Venus his handkerchief, “You shall get there first and win the money!”
“Really?” said Venus brightening up “But how?”
“Simple. I’ll help you get there” he said.
“But isn’t that cheating?” she asked as she wiped her eyes. “I mean I want to beat my brothers to the prize, but I want to do it fairly”
“There’s nothing in the rules that says a buddy can’t be given help” said Charles as he went and turned the TV off. “Now, you go and wait for me outside whilst I go and change and fetch what we need” With that, he raced out of the lounge and up the stairs, whilst Venus headed out the front door. “Raphael was right,” she thought to herself with a giggle, “he does seem to change his clothes six times a day.”

Five minutes later, Venus was sitting on the rope-&-tyre swing Charles had in his front garden, when she heard a strange noise that went tocka-tocka-tocka-tocka-tocka, like an old fashioned steam-driven lorry, coming from the garage. As she approached the drive, the garage doors slide open and out rolled the strangest thing she had yet seen that wasn’t built by Donatello or the Krang.
It had the boiler, smokebox, funnel, bunker, fly-wheel and open-air cab of a British traction engine. But it had 4 monster truck-like tyres and spring-suspension-axels, so that if going over rough ground the wheels would rock about, but the boiler and cab stayed straight. It was painted powder-electric blue with highly polished brass work. The springs underneath were orange and the wheels were jet black.
And in the cabin sat Charles dressed oddly, but plainly, in a pale bluish-grey dustcoat with dark blue buttons, dark grey trousers and dark brown boots, a red scarf around his neck and long yellow gloves, topped off with a brown leather flying helmet, out of which he ears poked out and the straps flapped about his cheekline, and goggles with blue rims and green-tinged lenses. He stopped the machine just clear of the garage and leant out of the cab to look down at Venus.
“How about that, Venus?” he chortled as he lifted up the goggles.
“It’s certainly something” admired Venus, lost for words at first. “What is it?”
“I call it the Extreme Traction Engine” announced Charles. Then in a basic tone, “I know I’m not a good as Mikey when it comes to naming things, but still it has a certain air of coolness about it.” He then saw Venus’s look of concern on her face that blatantly read ‘Does this even work?’ and assured her, “I’ve given it a few test runs already and it works great!”
“What do you plan to do with it then?” she joked as she continued to admire it, “Enter it for the Wacky Races?”
“Not really,” said Charles in a matter-of-fact tone leading on the edge of the cab, “I tried once, but the judges said I clashed with one of the other racers and my engine clashed with two of the cars already. Besides, they don’t hold those anymore. So instead, I’m planning on mass-producing it to help hard-up farms and troubled villages.”
“Really?” said Venus. “But isn’t this a coal-burner? How are poor people going to afford that?”
“Ah-ha” smiled Charles with the flare of salesman, “I’ve overcome that problem. The boiler is more-or-less now like a kettle; heated by a small but powerful electric motor, with solar-powered-storage reserves, the water in the tank is heated to make super-charged steam which drives all the works required. And with these modernised functions on, it can travel in all terrains and can go from 0—60 mph in 10 seconds from a standing point! But enough of that; hop in and let’s go!”
“How?” she asked, realising that the cab was way too high for her to even jump into, “I can’t get up there”
“Don’t worry about that,” smiled Charles, “I’ve thought of that too!” With that, he pulled a lever and with a soft hiss, the wheel basis began to spread out as the body was lowered towards the ground. Venus stepped back as it did so and made her way around the back, where Charles had opened the door for her. Once the body was 3 inches from the driveway, Venus was able to climb in and view the cab. It had been fitted with some comfortable-looking leather car seats with belts, the gear-stick, radio set and handbrake of a car, but instead of a steering wheel from either a car or traction engine, there was the handlebar of a motorbike and several other buttons were added to the radio where the car’s air-conditioning units were supposed to be.
“Nifty isn’t it?” smiled Charles and before Venus could ask him, “I find the handlebars more efficient than a steering wheel for this model – especially if you intend to travel over mountains, like what we’re going to do. Now buckle up tightly,” he added as Venus sat in the chair just behind and to the left of him and secured the belt buckle, “And don’t forget your helmet” he finished, plonking a silver cycling helmet of her head, “We’re going to see what this baby can do!”
“I thought you said you’d already tested it” Venus asked loudly above the noise of the engine as she did the straps of her helmet.
“That was just the basics” said Charles excitedly as he began to rev-up the engine like a motorcyclist, steam billowing from the funnel and pistons, “this is the extreme test! Now we’re going to see what she REALLY can do!! Let’s burn rubber!!!” he shouted as he released the throttle and blew the whistle.
With a shrill cry, the Extreme Traction Engine reared up on its back wheels with blue smoke rising from them, before slamming down and speeding down the driveway, though the open gateway, and swung left along the main road, with Charles and Venus cheering, hooting and hollering as it disappeared down the road towards the city where the TV studios were…

Whilst all that had been going on Raphael, who’d been out first, was making good of his head start by attempting to cross a nearby lake in a motorboat. Raph knew what was up for grabs, and was determined to get there first before any of this other brothers, let alone Venus.
The only way to reach the studios without taking the main road was across the lake, over the mountain range past that, and finally over a ravine, through which a wide river ran, before reaching the city limits. And between each of them were forests and wide-open countryside.
As Raph struggled to start the motor on the boat he muttered to himself, “With me, it’s not the principle of the thing – it’s the money!” As he said that final bit, the motor spluttered into life and Raphael sped across the lake. However, he was unaware that Leo turning up on the jetty Raph had just left and saw the large amount of rope there uncoiling as Raph had forgotten to untie it from his boat.
“Now how do you suppose this rope got untied?” Leo said as he slipped the looped end over one of the jetty’s mooring posts.
This resulted in the boat suddenly stopping in mid-lake, but Raphael and the motor carried on! Shortly after breaking free from the boat, the two soon sank beneath the surface of the water and then straight into the bank on the other side of the lake before burrowing inland a few yards. Then the two burst out from the ground backwards and up into the air! Raphael suddenly saw where he was and adjusted the angle of the motor to a horizontal position. This then make Raph, now so confident he had his eyes shut, to zoom off forwards….before crashing into a tree and sliding down to the bottom with a sputtering motor still clutched in his hand.
Has he lay there, Leonardo came reached the other side of the lake in a rowboat. He then set about putting two springs onto the soles of his feet and began to bounce away. As he bounced over the dazed Raphael, Leo called out, “Yoo-hoo! See ya in the city, slicker!”
“Yeah, sure” wheezed Raphael as he began gasping for air, and laughing at what Leo had just said, “City slicker! Sure…CITY?! Hey, that was Leo!” Exclaimed Raph, now realising what had just occurred and sprang to his feet, before setting off after Leonardo in desperation. “He’s ahead of me! I’ll have to take the shortcut and head him off at the pass!”

Before long, Raphael soon reached the mountains and spotted Leo, still wearing his springs, and bouncing along the trail that ran around and though the mountains. “Ha, there he comes now!” said Raph, “He probably thinks he’s miles ahead of me,” with that he continued down the pathway, still finding it very amusing. “It is to laugh!” he said to himself, “Ho-ho. Ho. Ho.” Then he noticed something on side of the mountain. He stopped and read the notice, “What’s this? To start avalanche, pull keystone.” Raph then started to think of a way to slow his brothers down with this little intervention, knowing that they’d have to turn around and find another way across the mountains. “Hm, only a dirty rat would do that – or a desperate turtle” he mused to himself, and pulled the stone. A split second later, there was a whistling noise and Raph looked up. But before he could make a getaway – CRASH! – about two tons of rocks and stones landed on top of Raph. However, Raph was unaware of two things before he pulled the keystone. Number one; there were two trails that lead over the mountains, one wider than the other. And number two; someone was already ahead of Leo. And that was Venus with Charles in the Traction Engine.
Charles, to demonstrate the full potential of his machine to the young turtle, had decided to go over the mountains using the wider road, instead of going through the tunnel that ran under the mountains. “Where’s the fun in that?” he asked Venus, “Besides, the engine’s too tall to fit through the tunnel”
“You can always lower it, can’t you?” suggested Venus, to which Charles replied, “I could. But then we’ll be taking up two lanes and blocking the road both ways. In any case, the engine’s sure-footed as a mountain goat.” And with that, he turned onto the mountain road.
When they reached the avalanche area, Charles stopped the engine and both he and Venus looked at the obstacle before them.
“Oh, we’ll never get round that,” said Venus sadly. “We’ll just have to turn around and go back”
“Not if I have anything to say about it” said Charles determinedly.
“Well what do you plan to do, drive over it?” asked Venus, eagerly awaiting the answer.
“Oh no,” said Charles. “That’s too dangerous. That rock might be looser than it looks and, with the weight of the engine if we tried that, we might slip off and over the mountain. No, no, we are going to plough that oversized gravel heap out the way. Watch this”. With that, he pulled another lever and turned a switch so that a retractable bulldozer blade emerged from the framework of the front suspension axels. “Let’s see” said Charles as he adjusted the blade, “angle at 45 degrees, reverse back a bit and we’re ready.”
And as smooth as warm honey, the traction engine shifted the rubble over the edge of the trail and onto the narrower one below – Raphael and all. The traction engine then carried on its journey above, whilst Leonardo bounced over the rock heap below.
As soon as Leo had gone, Raph pulled his head out. He had no idea what had really happened but he could tell that things weren’t going his way. “So that’s the way he wants to play, uh?” he said dizzily to himself, thinking it was all Leo’s doing….

Later on, Raph was still trying to get ahead of the others. This time with the help of a sapling, he was going to catapult himself over the mountains.
“A million bucks is a million bucks!” he muttered to himself as he cut the rope trying the tree down with one of his sais. As he cut the rope, he flew through the air, but instead of going over the mountains – WHAM! – he smacked into the side of one and slid down in a daze – right into the traction engine’s path. Luckily for him, Charles stopped just in time.
“Well, well, hi there, Raph ol’ buddy” smiled Charles, lifting up his goggles as he and Venus lent over one of the engine’s big wheels, with big grins over their faces, to look at the dazed turtle who had watched their approach. But by now, Raphael had reached the stage where he was out against everyone and anyone. Straightening his mask he leapt to his feet and waved his palm at the pair of them in the ‘Keep Back’ fashion.
“Don’t ol’ buddy me!” he said, starting to sound dangerous as he began to back away. “I’m ahead and I’m gonna stay ahead! I’m way out in front! Woo-hoo!” he whooped as he broke into a run, still looking behind him. “Old Raphael’s doing it! Look at me pulling on ahead! Winning in a breeze!” however, he was so full of himself that he didn’t realise until too late that he’d run right off the path and off the cliff. “I away ou->gulp!<” he’d begun then looked down to see that he was standing on thin air. He tried to turn around and run back to the path, but it was no good. And with a cry of “IEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he fell through the air. Charles and Venus had continued in the traction engine, only to stop to get a good view of Raph’s fall over the edge of the cab.
“I wonder if Raphael will remember that he can’t fly?” said Charles, still with his goggles on his helmet, and his chin now in his hand.
PLONK!
“No, I guess not…” said Venus blandly as they started off again….

Before long, Charles and Venus had left the mountains behind and were now cruising the road that lead to the city where the TV studios were. They hadn’t seen any sign of Leo or Raph since the mountains, neither had the seen the other two.
“I hope they’re alright” said Venus as she expressed her concern for her brothers.
“I’m sure they’re fine. They’ve been through a whole lot worse then this” smiled Charles. “I guess that when it comes to the likes of me, the others don’t realise that they’re up a superior adversary this time”
“At least you’re better than the Krang, Shredder or Stockman put together” grinned Venus, for she’d always considered Charles to be her guardian angel above all things, always being there for her when she needed it the most and never giving up on her.
“Sure,” smiled Charles. “This is all just for fun”
At that point, hey were suddenly of a high-pitched whining noise, the sort that a go-kart or Moped usually makes. Looked over the rear of the engine, they saw Michelangelo speeding up to them on one of Donatello’s Sewer-Surfers. And before long, he was level with the cabin.  
“Hey dudes! Awesome set of wheels!” he shouted over the sound of the whining and the rumbling from both vehicles.
“Thanks!” Venus called back over the noise, the plaited part of her mask flapping out behind her like a flag, “You’re not so bad yourself!”
“Spot on, dudette!” beamed Mikey, giving them the thumbs up. He looked ahead and then pointed out, “Ha, there’s Donny!”
Sure enough, there was Donny all right. He was standing next to a sign which read “STOP. Bridge under Construction” and appeared to be jumping about and waving his arms franticly. Charles, guessing that something was wrong, began to slow down, but Mikey carried on. “Hold it Mikey!” cried Donny as Mikey zoomed towards him, “Wait! Stop! Hold it! Wait! Wait! Mikey, wai-!”
But Mikey didn’t wait or stop. He simply collided with Donny and knocked him out of the way. >BLAM!< Mikey obviously thought Donny was playing a joke and ignored him.
“Ha! Trying to outfox the old master, eh?” Mikey smirked. After all he was the best prankster in the lair. But Donny wasn’t playing a joke. The bridge was under construction! There was about a 20 yard gap in the middle of the bridge as it spanned across the river. Mikey simple drove off the edge and just before he reached the other side, he realised what was going on and then fell, Sewer-Surfer and all.
“IEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he screamed as the surfer fell from under his feet, and then he plunged down.
By now Donny, Charles, who had once again raised his goggles over his forehead, and Venus had gathered by the edge of the bridge to watch Mikey fall.
“I wonder if that silly turtle will remember that he can swim?” said Charles. >KER-SPLOSH!< “Nope, I guess not” he finished as a water spout broke in front of them.
“Now what do we do?” said Venus, looking at the state of affairs now. “Turn around and find another way?”
“No, that’ll take us miles out of our way,” said Charles. “No, we’ll just jump across the gap” and he and Venus headed back to the traction engine. Donny looked between the gap and engine for a bit and then hurried over to them.
“You’ll never clear the gap in this thing!” he said indicating the engine. “If Mikey can almost make it and fall in, then you’re bound to fall the moment you roll off the edge! It’s absurd! Why, I could clear that jump easily”
“You willing to make a bet on that?” smiled Charles as he helped Venus into the cab.
“Okay, what ‘cha got?” smirked Donny, feeling that he was sure to win, whatever odds.
“If I win, you stay out of my laboratory and workshop for the rest of your stay here”
“And if I win?” said Donny in an over-confident tone of voice.
“I’ll unlock the lab door” sighed Charles.
“Can I get that in writing?” asked Donny hopefully.
“And ruin the gag, sir? Never!” said Charles, as he climbed into the cab.
“Alright! I’ll go first. Just you watch this!” With that, Donny gripped his bo-staff in both hands and then broke out into a sprint towards the gap.
Using his staff as a vaulting pole, he lifted himself clear over the gap and landed just of the edge. He nearly fell backwards and began flaying his arms like a hyperactive windmill, but he managed to get himself upright and onto the bridge.
He turned to look at the other with a wide, gappy smirk across his face as if to say ‘Try and beat that!’, and Charles did.
Turning the traction engine around, he drove it back a few yards and then turned it around to face the bridge. He then began to rev the engine as Venus buckled herself into her seat. Quick as a flash, the traction engine roared towards the bridge at a terrific speed. Just as it crossed the threshold, Charles pulled the suspension lever down and quickly pulled it back up again.
The traction engine lowered itself towards the road and the literally leapt up into the air and over Donny! It landed 10 yards clear of the bridge, bounced twice on the road and swerved from left to right before finally straightening up and stopping. Quickly Charles and Venus looked back to see the results.
Donatello just stood there with the same expression on his face he had when he first saw April. He just could not believe what had just happened. He had been outdone by a pimped-up farming vehicle!
Charles just laughed at the expression on Donny’s face as he put the engine in gear and started off again. “See you at the studios!” he called out.
“No hard feelings Donny!” Venus said as the traction engine sped away.
Donny quickly regained his senses by shaking his head, and then quickly ran after them towards the city….

In the city, four of the competitors had reached the TV centre where the Beat Your Buddy studio resides, but a sign pointed out “Studios – Top Floor”, which meant that the elevators had to be used. Leo ran into the North Entrance, Mikey dashed through the East Entrance and Donny entered the West Entrance. Venus and Charles were nowhere to be seen. Raph was just behind Leo, but didn’t enter the building.
“They got the jump on me,” he panted, “But I can still beat those guys to the top floor,” he added defiantly, “with my little secret weapon!” With that he pulled a little Jet-Set from behind his back and running towards the Southside of the building, strapped it on before activating the jets. Raph was soon rocketing straight up to the top floor and entered through an open window. A few seconds later, he flew out though another window on the other side – with his three brothers in his arms! He was holding Leo by the shoulders, then came Donny and finally Mikey, up close to his face.
“Hey, dudes, what’s up?” said Mikey, casually. It was difficult to tell whether Raphael wanted this to happen or not, but Leo had something else in mind.
“Raph,” he asked, “where did you get that jet pack?”
“Meh, found in one of Charles’ sheds” Raph replied flatly.
“Oh good(!)” said Leo sarcastily.
“Wait, that’s not good!” said Donny, beginning to panic.
“So what?” said Raph, starting to dread what was going to be said next.
“That’s where Charles keeps his half-tested gadgets!” cried Donny, rather hysterically. “For all we know, that thing could blow up at any second!!”
“Okay then Raphie,” said Mikey as he nervously looked at the zooming ground way below them, “Whatever you do, don’t drop us, okay?”
Then something happened. The jet set didn’t explode, but it began to falter and backfire. It suddenly sprang back into like when the set was pointing downwards. And that’s where all four turtles went.
Raphael was able to straighten up before hitting the ground and drove all four of them into the open doorway of an Antique Glass Shop. After zooming around for a bit, they flew out the exit into a back alley. There, Leo collided with a telegraph pole with a wooden <KLUNK> and the jet set started faltering again and restarted when it was facing back towards the exit doorway and all four went straight back in. A loud CRASH!! And the tinkling of breaking glass followed their retry….

It was lucky for Charles and Venus that they hadn’t arrived at the same time as the others. The traction engine had to reduce speed for safety regulations and then got caught in traffic by some traffic lights. Venus suggested beating the traffic by cutting through the city park as means of a short cut.
There they got pulled over by a park ranger and had crowds of people flocking around the traction engine. Some of them remarked the strange-looking machine, others jeered at it, but they all looked at it in awe. Venus huddled in the cab whilst Charles got out and explained what was going on. Thankfully, when he mentioned that they were on Beat Your Buddy, a police escort was arranged to take them straight to the TV Centre. This helped a great deal and the only time they stopped was when four ambulances whizzed past, carrying the four turtles to the Emergency Hospital after their crash, but Charles knew nothing about it. Soon the Traction Engine was parked outside the TV building, with two police cars guarding it. Charles and Venus raced in and made for one of the 5 lifts in the lobby….

Shortly, the other four turtles were leaving the hospital. Raphael was limping on a crutch, Michelangelo had both is arms in slings, Donnatello’s head was swathed in bandages and Leonardo was in a wheelchair. All four of them were sporting various plasters on their bodies and bandages on their heads. Not to mention that all four of them were now desperate to return to the studio and win the contest.
Raph was limping as fast and his crutch would let him and Leo was treating his wheelchair like a racehorse, shouting “Yah, mule! Giddy up! Yah! Yah!”
At the studios, Raph was in the lead, closely followed by Donny and Mikey with Leo trailing behind still crying “YAH! YAH! YAH-YAH! GIDDY-UP, HULE!” as he wheeled through the doors and into the other lifts.
So all 5 lifts met at the top floor and opened their doors in unison. Even with their injuries, the other four raced towards the finish line which was by the show-host’s desk.
“Oh no” gasped Venus as this happened. But Charles wasn’t giving up after coming so close. He looked down at Venus and asked her, “You up for some Turtle Curling?”
Venus at first didn’t understand, but she then got the idea and nodded. So by tucking her head, arms and legs into her shell, Charles picked her up and flung her across the floor. The back of her shell skimmed smoothly across the polished floor towards the line. As she drew level, Leo put on an extra spurt of speed, Raph made a dive for the line and poor Mikey got entangled in some cables and crashed into some studio spotlights, bringing them down on Donny as well as himself.
“The big moment is here, folks!” said the now-excited host. “It looks like our winner is –” Raph flung himself across the line, Venus zoomed past him with Leo a close third “Raphael!” cried the host.
Gasping and panting, Raph blurted out “I won! I won!! In your faces all of you!” he said in triumph to the other turtles whilst Charles helped a slightly dizzy and upset Venus into a seated position, and to he host he said, “I’ll take my million bucks now!” He finished off with panty wheezy “Than you”
“There you are, Raphael. A million box!” smiled the host indicating an enormous wooden crate with the words “The Million Box” in black printed letters. “And it’s all yours!” the host added walking towards it.
“A million BOX?!” cried Raph in disbelief. He could not believe that he’d come all this way, just for that.
“And inside the Million Box,” the host continued as he opened the Million Box with a crowbar, “are one million little boxes!” And sure enough, there was indeed hundreds of little white boxes inside the crate.
“Oh boy, just what I always wanted(!) Sheez!” groaned Raph sarcastically. He could just hear Mikey sniggering in the background. Then a sly idea came into his head, with a matching look on his face, on how to deal with this and make someone else look the fool. “Er, just a moment sir,” he said to the host, “I would like to donate my prize to my dear friend and sister, Venus! After all, she deserves it better than the other four of us as she did he best to get here fair and square.” Venus’s eyes filled with tears of joy and almost squealed in delight, but refrained from that by hugging Charles around the waist instead, and he hugged her back.
“Now there’s a real buddy for you!” smiled the host before he turned to the viewers and continued, “For inside of each of the million little boxes, there is a crisp, brand new one dollar bill! Raphael has given his little sister one million dollars!” As the five turtles and Charles gathered around Leo in his wheelchair for the closing shot, nobody saw Charles quickly pull out his wand from inside his coat and tapping it on Raph’s head, whispering “Jackassius Morpho!”, which turned Raphael’s whole head into that of a pale brown jackass with long floppy ears hanging down. You could still tell it was Raph as it was still wearing his mask. The other turtles didn’t seem to mind, knowing that Raphael had got his hot-headed comeuppance.
“Now please, Raphael, say something to the audience!” said the host while all that happened. All Raphael could say was braying “HAW! HEE-HAW! HEE-HAW! HEE-HAW! HEE-HAW!” whilst the other beamed happily at the cameras.

As for what Venus planned on doing with all that money, that would have to wait for another time, but there were reckonings that she was planning on leaving in the care of both Master Splinter and Charles, who never gave up on here – even when the odds appeared to be against her….